2 Death and Regret

It's been pretty quite around here lately. I haven't logged on in a while.... lately I find myself scared to even look at this computer screen. 

It's been almost three weeks since I received a call that my father was in the hospital due to a heart attack. Lets just start off by saying  that we weren't the closest. He left us when I was 3 years old.  I grew up knowing my stepdad as my "Dad".  Growing up he would call so often & we would go visit here & there. It wasn't until this past year he all the sudden started to call more often (after maybe 10 years) So it was very surprising to me. I kind of resented him. I would sometimes ignore his call and tell my husband why is he doing this? Why is he trying to call and act like he cares now? I eventually started taking his calls more and I actually loved hearing his voice & catching up with him. The last time we talked I remember being on the phone with him for over an hour. It was nice. Nice to hear him tell me he loved me. Nice to hear that he was in a good place in his life. Nice to know he was happy with his family & that he was trying.... trying to keep in touch with us & he hadn't forgot about us. It's funny how things happen. I grew up in Church. I mean it was serious stuff. Church and God were all I knew. When I left home I turned away from God... I questioned lots of things about "Church" I just felt like I didn't need it. My family & I got hurt in lots of ways trying to live the "Godly" way. Not to mention the closest people we knew were the ones we became to know as family. Our church family. Lets just say they turned out to be the ones that hurt us the most. So anyways I haven't been making God my number one in a while. But on the day of the funeral God showed himself to me. He showed me that he is still there no matter how much we run from him. I found out that out of nowhere my Father just so happened to be at the right spot at the right time and accepted Jesus as his personal Lord and savior. It just so happened an angel was there with him and lead him to where he needed to be. This was just hours before he suddenly had a heart attack out of nowhere. He was a perfectly healthy man who certainly was not into the church thing or accepting Jesus in the middle of Fiesta. It has shocked us all at how fast all this happened and how everything played out. All I know is God does have a plan and things do happen in weird ways. We have to take full advantage of the time we have with one another. Everyone is placed in our life for a reason. Rather we like it or not death happens and  it sucks, but we just have to cherish the time we do have with one another. We never know what kind of day we will wake up to tomorrow.